…Since I’m sure that this in no way makes me appear weird or sad or pathetic, and besides, why not air out some dirty laundry? That’s what the internet is for, right?? The list caps at 11 because it’s a nice palindromic number and because it’s less creepy than going on and on about all the imaginary women from TV, movies, or books I would marry.
Honorable Mentions:
Britta Perry/Annie Edison- Because the two come in a package deal.
Casey Klein- Because I am a hip enough to have watched Party Down. And because nobody else did.
Kim Pine- Because WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! ONE TWO THREE FOUR!
Kitty Pryde- Because despite numerous portrayals in comics, movies, and TV, I have yet to come across a version I don’t like.
Celine from Before Sunrise, Amelie from Amelie, Anna from Beginners, or any other French girl in movies- Because they are French girls in movies.
Robin Scherbatsky- Because before HIMYM messed her up in season 4, there was Robin, and then there was every other imaginary woman on Earth.
Dianna Agron- Because no way someone so perfect can be a real life person, right?
And now:
11. Franny Glass- “Let’s just try to have a marvelous time this weekend. I mean not try to analyze everything to death for once, if possible. Especially me. I love you.” I could totally love her to pieces, distraction, etc.
10. Sloane Peterson- My future wife will also be my accomplice when I decide to take a day off. She will assist in creating phony phone services to fool my principal and by pretending to be different people when nosy waiters don’t believe I am the Sausage King of Chicago. She will also make out with me in front of paintings, dance with me on parade floats, and deal with my best friend when he spazzes out after destroying his father’s priceless car. Chicka chicka.
9. Julie “The Cat” Gaffney- One of the best goalies of her generation, yet her coach refuses to play her a single minute of the Goodwill Games until out of the blue, he decides to stick her in goal during the shootout of the final game, completely cold, to face the best player in the tournament with the gold medal at stake. And then she does her job. Like a boss.
8. Kimberly Hart- Not only was she a teenaged super-hero who piloted a giant flying pterodactyl robot, she was an Olympic level gymnast. She was also incredibly well-rounded and organized or participated in pretty much every school event or activity. She gets points taken away for being a Socal girl through and through, though. And also for going for Tommy instead of the clearly superior Jason.
7. Alex Mack- My reasoning is easy to follow here. Larissa Oleynik was my first celebrity crush. Alex Mack wears a hat. Bianca Stratford doesn’t wear a hat. Alex Mack wins.
6. Joan Holloway- It’s a credit to Mad Men‘s writing that I feel like I know her better than I know some of my friends. It’s a credit to Joan Holloway that in a world of men, she shines brighter than any of them not because she is a woman, but because she is stronger, more confident, and more driven than anybody else working at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. It’s a shock when you see her vulnerable, and it makes your heart ache for her. She’s the best kind of bombshell- her incredibly and undeniably magnetic charisma draws you in before she blows you up. What’s not to like?
5. Liz Bennett- Simply put, she inspired a man to change for her. She is headstrong, witty, impulsive, and outspoken in the best ways possible. And boy do I like spitfires. Especially ones that are Keira Knightly in the movie adaptation.
4. Joey Potter- People forget this since she’s become some manic android woman, but back in the day everybody loved Katie Holmes. Sure, Joey was a drama magnet, but she was desirable enough for me to admit I watched Dawson’s Creek. She was also incredibly intelligent and could banter with the best of them, not to mention she was crazy beautiful (especially because she didn’t know it). Plus, she knew a whole bunch of big words. Nothing hotter than having a verbal arsenal at one’s disposal.
3. Jordan Baker- Probably my all-time literary character crush and probably the whole reason I came up with this list as I was reading The Great Gatsby for the umpteenth time. Waaaay sexier than Daisy. Also much more alluring and sultry with just the right amount of mysterious. Unlike Daisy, she could give as good as she got from the boys. And she’s an athlete (even though she cheats… and even though it’s golf). But when the new Gatsby movie comes out at the end of the year, I want everyone to remember that I was into Jordan Baker before it was cool.
2. Holly Golightly- Flighty and flimsy, but in the absolute best way possible. Who wouldn’t want to be the one to center her? I’m pretty sure Capote created her specifically so that every man on earth would fall in love with her for a few seconds. That said, this ranking is for movie Holly, not book Holly. Movie Holly has the distinct advantages of possessing guitar skills, of getting her happy ending, and of being Audrey Hepburn.
1. Buffy Summers- Everything I liked about all the girls above, plus equal parts baddest chick on the planet and vulnerable dorky girl just trying to fit in. Pretty much the total package. Dynamite.
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Now playing: Teenage Fanclub – The Concept
Posted by bmwong 
